Tiffany

11 years old

What I thought of the video is that it’s amazing to see how much people can say just by writing 1 sentence, on 1 post it!!! Like even though it’s only 1 sentence, it’s still explaining love, like 1 post it said love is happiness, and you get completely what that means! To me what that means on the post it: love is happiness, is that you r happy that u have someone special that’s by your side, someone you can count on.

Well my definition of love is: love makes the world go round.

Well wat I mean about love makes the world go round is wen ur alive u can do many things like go to six flags wit a bunch of friends, hang out wit friends, bunji  jump, go skydiving, and of course u can have fun wit all of that, and yea the world will still be goin round and round but there is still 1 special ingredient, to make the world go round…LOVE!!!!!!!!!! So I hope every1 gets wat im trying to say!!!!! YEA THAT’S RITE!!!! THAT’S WAT I THINK BOUT LOVE PEOPLE !!!! kk good….Tiff out!!!!

Leadership

Leadership.  Something we all strive to accomplish but many fail to understand what it really means.  This summer I had the greatest pleasure of getting to be a part of an organization that not only advocates the end to domestic violence, but fosters young leaders to go out and make a difference.  Day One has shown itself to be a non-profit that actually does good for society and makes every effort to educate and help young people in their times of need. Every week a group of 5 girls and myself engage in a “lecture series” that teaches us the lowdown on Domestic Violence and Intimate Partner Abuse, as well as how to be a strong leader. While it may seem like such a simple thing to undertake, many people go about it wrong and cannot make the change they might have attempted to.  We have been using an extremely interesting model called “The Social Change Model of Leadership Development” to help guide us through the twists and turns of being an effective Social Leader.  Using the book “Leadership for a Better World: Understanding the Social Change Model of Leadership Development” by Susan R. Komives, Wendy Wagner, and Associates we have gotten to explore seven critical values to have in order to be a leader that can actually make a difference in society. Personally, I have been to many Leader initiatives, study abroad programs that deal with leadership and social change, and not until now did I feel that I took anything away from it.  Leadership is a big undertaking, and you need to be selfless and follow the steps learned through this book in order to actually do some good.  Citizenship, collaboration, common purpose, controversy with civility, consciousness of self, congruence, and commitment are all equally important.  In my humble opinion I feel that collaboration and consciousness of self have been my biggest struggle since joining Day One.  Most people believe that a leader acts alone, and guides other people in doing something. However, that is completely wrong and it’s so important to be able to work with people as equals and listen and understand one another. Leadership is not a solo act, if you attempt to make it a solo act, nothing will get accomplished.  Collaboration will only lead to bigger and better things, as I have noticed with the Peer Leaders this summer. We work off one another’s ideas, making them bigger and better, sometimes scaling things down to make them more realistic. Most importantly, we learn from one another, and can gain new perspectives on things we maybe never even considered.  Consciousness of self is another big factor in being an effective leader.  You must know yourself, and your areas in need of growth in order to actually grow and build self-confidence.  Really looking at myself and learning my strengths and more important, my weaknesses has been a great gift this summer. I know where I need to grow, and how I can become a better leader.  Not only that but I know the qualities I have that make me a strong person, friend, collaborator, and leader.  All of these values we have learned have opened my eyes on what is really important, and if I actually want to make a difference, I need to possess them all. This summer has been an incredible gift, and I cannot wait to use everything I learned back as school in the fall, and beyond that in everyday life. 

Until next time,

Dina (peer leader summer ‘11)

(via safercampus)

(Source: thegaymorality, via safercampus)

This summer I am working as a Peer Leader for the non-profit organization Day One. Each week I get to be part of a team of six college students, who are passionate about promoting healthy relationships, eager to learn how to become effective leaders in our communities, as well as campaign against domestic violence. Before joining Day One, I did not question how prevalent abuse takes places within relationships among college-age youth.

I can recall that during my first Peer Leadership workshop, I realized few red flags that were overlooked in my previous relationship or within my friends’ relationships. Without the necessary information, college-age youth and adults do not know what the warning signs of an abusive relationship are. In addition, the lack of access to vital information can cause victims of abuse to stay with their abuser, because they do not know where or how to seek help.

Domestic violence is often a taboo subject that is associated with married couples or with people who are part of an older age bracket. However, anyone can be the victim or the perpetrator of abuse. Both men and women, whether or not they are young or old, can experience abuse in their intimate relationships.

Even same-sex couples are not immune to being part of an abusive relationship. Abuse is not bias towards sexual orientation, gender, age, nationality or race. On the other hand, it is important to note that although men are abused, the victims of domestic violence are disproportionately females who are abused by their male partners.  Therefore, Day One provides greater aid to young women in New York City who are 24 years and under.

Through Day One’s free legal and counseling services, these women are able to work towards the process of leaving an abusive relationship. It is not always easy for victims to leave their abusive relationships. At times, victims stay in their situations because they are financially dependent on the perpetrator, have children in common with the abuser, or these victims are isolated from their friends and families and believe they have nowhere else to turn to for support. There are many complicated and personal reasons why victims remain in their abusive relationships, and it is important to not judge them for their decisions. However, it is still essential for us to promote healthy and safe relationships, so that we can break the cycle of abuse.

Several weeks ago the Peer Leaders created the Love Is campaign, which encourages people to ask themselves what is their personal definition of love. Our campaign aims to promote the idea that love is relative, we all define love differently based on our personal experiences. However, the bottom line is that love should always be safe, and everyone has the right to be in a healthy relationship.

Our first campaign took place on a very sunny day in Washington Square Park. During this campaign, we aimed to pass out Know Your Rights guides (which are pictured above) to more than one hundred people. In addition, we asked those who wanted to participate in our campaign to write their definition of love on a post-it. Afterward, we took a picture of the post-it attached to each person’s palm. In the end, each post-it was organized and formatted to create a short film/PSA documenting how love can be expressed in multitude ways.

Although our campaign is relatively new, we have reached out to more people than we had previously estimated. I hope that those people who received our Know Your Rights guides learned more about domestic violence and share their knowledge with their friends and families. Abuse, whether it is financial, verbal, sexual, technological, physical or mental/emotional, will not end if we continue to remain silent or sweep the issue under the rug. To learn more information about dating abuse, domestic violence and building healthy relationships, please visit Day One’s website http://www.dayoneny.org/dayone/ or you can continue to visit our blog to learn more about the cause.

Signing off,

Elsie (Love is…waking up to sweet text messages in the morning)

Abusing someone is a CHOICE …

Hello my fellow bloggers, this is Jamila from Day One NY. I am a Peer Leader Intern for the summer. You might wonder what a Peer Leader is exactly at Day One, or what Day One does exactly. I’m h ere to answer all of that!

I’d like to first mention that this is my views/opinions on the work that I do at Day One.

So I’m a peer leader…how cool is that? Well it really is. As a peer leader for Day One, I advocate the ending of domestic violence among youth, specifically I try to reach the message across college age youth. During this HOT summer, we campaigned at different locations with the message of “What is love…” Basically we would ask strangers, yes strangers, what love meant to them and they would have to write it down. This may be a hard question for many but its quite simple! So what is love? Love is feeling safe and knowing you will be cared for unconditionally by the person you love. That’s my definition.

Day One is an organization that is helping to end dating abuse among youth. Not only that, they help to provide resources to those who need it such as legal advice, counseling, community education, peer leadership(DUH) and youth voices network. To learn more about about the programs check out the website for more information.

We also participated in training session of Intimate Partner Abuse, Healthy relationships, Activism & Social Justice, and more. The facilitator of these training sessions was our amazing peer leadership coordinator, JOY! Yes, she was great and cool! (You will be missed Joy ::tears::) These classes helped me developed a more better understanding on issues on domestic violence and just learn more about myself as to what I would like to do in the future.

Personally my summer would have been a total bummer if I wasn’t participating in Day One. I got an opportunity to be a part of something that I really enjoyed doing. It was more bigger then I thought. Even if I weren’t able to get the message of ending domestic violence across to everyone I may have just impacted one person or may have actually made someone more aware on the subject which makes me feel proud. Not only that, but I always had a personal interest for areas in domestic violence. So that in it’s self was a rewarding experience.

Day One provided more opportunities then they know! As a peer leader, I learned more about other issues then just what I “trained” to do so! Everything provided by Day One is FREE! They will literally be by your side when you are in need! The Day One staff are amazing and easy going!

Domestic Violence is a serious issue. It can happen to anyone anywhere. Remember it is not just physical abuse, many believe it is but IT ISN’T. Abusing someone is a CHOICE. A choice to hurt someone is the wrong choice to make! I think it’s really important to know the signs of an abusive relationship. Everyone deserves some TLC (tender love and care)! 

I hope to continue on what I’ve learn from Day One in my future. I promise myself that I will.

Peer Leadership Program rocks! =] Whoot Whoot (happy dance) 

Now the question is, what type of social justice would you like to do or motivates you? (Yes, you my reader :-] )

*Jamila*

Love is… (in the words of Greg T from z100) 

Reasons Why Feminism IS Important

In today’s society, it is common for people to question the idea of feminism still being important, if relevant at all. Many people recognize that women have been given a lot of the rights they deserve, but do they recognize the fact that we are still actively oppressing women with their words and their actions? Do they see that society and popular culture is teaching today’s young women to hate themselves and their bodies? Domestic violence and sexual assault hurt both men and women every single day.

A woman in America is battered every 15 seconds.

Four women in the U.S. die at the hands of an abusive partner every day.

Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship report having a boyfriend that threatened violence or self harm when presented with a breakup.

Studies on dating violence show that female teenagers who experienced it are more likely to engage in substance abuse, risky sexual behavior, and suicide. Violence against women is not just a human rights issue, but a health issue as well that is harming us all. As of 2005, studies show that between 50 and 75 percent of women are sexually harassed while in college…

If alarming statistics don’t make it clear that the problems feminism was born to solve have not been solved, if it is not clear that women only earn 70 cents to the dollar that men earn, if it is not clear that gender oppression hurts women every day, then there are still many examples in pop culture that might make it easier for you to see. 

Today’s media presents young women with movie franchises like Twilight, television shows like Keeping Up With the Kardashians and rappers like Nicki Minaj as the popular choice of entertainment… but what message do these give their fans?

Twilight’s main character is a young girl who loses all of her confidence when her boyfriend leaves her, showing young girls that they are nothing without a man.The fact that her boyfriend is a vampire is no excuse for him to break into her house and watch her as she sleeps! What she convinces us is romance is really just glorification of stalking and dependent behavior for young girls.

The Kardashian sisters are watched by millions on their television show as we are told we must “keep up with the Kardashians.” They exhibit no female empowerment in their show or in any other part of their public lives as they role model unhealthy stereotypes of women, and then bash each other about it on television.

Nicki Minaj “changed the game” as she reinvented Barbie as an icon for women in Hip Hop culture, and with the aim of reestablishing female presence in the Rap world she challenges male dominance. She sings about sexual topics, which could be her considering herself a feminist for remaining independent and sex-positive but what are her Barbie claims teaching teenage girls? She openly states in interviews that she wants to remind young girls that they are beautiful and sexy, but in her songs she raps about other women who explore their sexuality being women she doesn’t like and calls them “sluts” and “hoes.” 

*trigger warning*

Gender oppression towards women has been presented in the media for a long time, but now even with the new popularity of social media women are being targeted and hurt. This past weekend an offensive, woman-hating hashtag rose on Twitter as a “trending topic” worldwide. If you aren’t clear about Twitter, a hashtag looks like -> ‘#phrase’, and the more people who enter it in a tweet that they post, the more likely it is to “trend” and end up on the list of topics on the homepage. The trending topic this past weekend was “reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend” and it was one of the top trending topics across the world. People who saw it on the homepage continued to post about it, joke about it and let it continue trending. Not only did this target women as objects for abuse, but it makes it distinct that domestic violence (intimate partner violence) is a prevailing force of gender oppression today. If you think domestic violence is a joke, then you might need a lesson in Feminism 101…   

Some of the woman-hating tweets on twitter this weekend included:  

#reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend you find out she not really a girl
#reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend if she bought the new chris brown song on itunes.
#reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend Not cooking for you. At least once in a while.
#reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend is trending. This is shocking, disgusting and wrong. Why would anyone want to have a girlfriend? 

Then there were less hurtful tweets, but nevertheless they still featured the hashtag, allowing it to continue trending… 

She’s on the opposite team in a game of charades? #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend
That awkward moment when #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend trends because everyone says it’s a horrible TT, causing it to trend.

Then there was this tweet:

#reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend no how bout #ReasonsToRespectYourGirlfriend / #ReasonsToLoveYourGirlfriend / #ReasonsToMakeYourGirlfriendsmile

which showed a bit more hope for healthy love in this world, as did the counter tweet #reasonstoloveawoman that people created. Though it didn’t reach the “trending topic” ranks, it shows a bit more respect for all of those PEOPLE that you know and love who identify as a woman.

While most Twitter users recognized that the hashtag was offensive, the use of it continued and hurt women around the world whether or not they recognized themselves as victims or survivors of violence. The next time an offensive remark is heard or a hashtag is seen on Twitter, no… now, I challenge you to rethink the relevancy of feminism in today’s society. Today’s feminism isn’t the same as it was 40 years ago and there is no man-hating with women rebelling in the “us against the world spirit.” Today’s feminism is not a label to be afraid of. Today’s feminism is believing a woman and man are equal beings; today’s feminism is about activism; today’s feminism is about understanding gender oppression and not letting it perpetuate any longer.

-Amira

safercampus:

we disguise ourselves as human beings

This is our “Love is…” Project!

Thank you for everyone involved; we truly appreciate it!

Love should always be safe. DayOneNY.org